Dreary Hands

2014-03-06T17:59:00.000-08:00

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2011-10-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

Today i dreamt of creating the perfect pleated leather skirt. And a dress so divine. Orange, and embellished with gold metal plates around the neckline ala Aztec, empire waist with a revealing hemline.

Karma's a bitch only if you are.

2011-10-07T08:02:00.000-07:00

The first is that, even after 30 years, we still haven't figured out how to effectively manage and regulate the post-union, post-globalization, post-Bretton Woods economy. This is a relatively short-term kind of problem, but there are still a lot of bumps left on that road. The other is that we're simply working on some really hard problems—much harder than we anticipated when we first dived into them. Artificial intelligence is really hard. Finding a source of energy that's cheaper per BTU than oil is really hard. Gene sequencing—along with a deep understanding of how human biology works—is really hard. But that doesn't mean innovation has been snuffed out. It just means we've set our sights really high. That's no bad thing. -Kevin Drum

Chapter 1 Cataclysm

2011-10-05T01:52:00.000-07:00

"But I’ll get bored of you, and feel trapped, because that’s what happens with me."

at first, this may seem like a post-mortem of a wasted and abandoned prism of my mind. But far from it. I stopped documenting my life for a year because i simply felt the numbness of reality, bluntly poking at my inner soul and eviscerating it slowly like a dead animal rotting. Everyday i wake up half-baked, i could die and not notice it. My eternal lament is my tendency to question life and reinvent philosophical doctrines. I gathered what was left of my soul (which by now, equivalent to a black hole) and hope to bring a purpose into this imaginary hinterland.

Well, everybody's gotta learn something.

"And in these rapid most complex days of speed, mood, and psychology, it is relatively impossible to “know” anyone, as it is impossible to “know” oneself." - Sylvia Plath

2010-10-14T03:52:00.001-07:00

5 facts for a stranger

2010-05-16T08:47:00.000-07:00

When you look at someone you love, the pupils dilate, and it does the same when you are looking at someone you hate. Most men have erections every hour to hour and a half during sleep. After eating too much, your hearing is less sharp. Three hundred million cells die in the human body every minute. Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.

we are all sinners

2010-05-02T00:33:00.001-07:00

I’m not perfect, I never tried to be.
I’ve made mistakes.
I’ve taken the easy way out.
I’ve lied to my friends.
I’ve hidden the truth so many times from so many people.
I’ve hurt people, and I’ve even done it on purpose.
I’ve left people behind. I’ve spread rumors.
I’ve said things that I didn’t mean. I’m no better than anyone, anywhere. I’m human. I have faults, and I’m not afraid to admit that. I want to change, but I won’t. Because that’s what we do. That’s what we’ve always done.
We list our faults like a grocery list, and we move on, expecting everything to somehow change itself. It never will. I will never change. I will never be perfect. I will always make mistakes. I’ll, more often than not, take the easy way out.
I will lie, hide the truth, hurt people, leave people behind, spread rumors, and say things I don’t mean for the rest of my life.

2010-04-30T09:25:00.000-07:00

Yay yay, finally get some time off. I was screaming TGIF!!!! the whole time in office but actually i was thinking about my pay. Free food today, super happy. No need to go to the fly-infested food court.. Couldn't surf the net cos Jas was hogging up the computer. She's flying to Sydney soon. And the computer is effing slow. Ivy and Vilma gave me a new English name : Penelope. I scoffed. PENE-LOPE. Epiphany.
When i save enough, i will buy my own sailboat in the British Columbian waters in Canada where i live my life being happy.

2010-03-18T02:39:00.000-07:00

I wish I could do better by you,

Cause that's what you deserve.

You sacrifice so much of your life,

In order for this to work.

While I'm off chasing my own dreams,

Sailing around the world,

Please know that I'm yours to keep,

My beautiful girl.

When you cry a piece of my heart dies,

Knowing that I may have been the cause,

If you were to leave, fulfil someone else's dreams,

I think I might totally be lost.

You don't ask for no diamond rings,

No delicate string of pearls,

That's why I wrote this song to sing,

My beautiful girl.

2010-03-16T00:02:00.001-07:00

every aching wound but

my thoughts were so loud

2010-03-08T01:46:00.001-08:00

2010-02-24T19:41:00.000-08:00

2010-01-27T03:56:00.001-08:00

lost and wondering

2010-01-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

i used to read alot when i was younger, and that made me a curious little girl. one day, a pigeon and its family made a nest on my windowsill and every now and then i'd check if it's alright. the next morning, its parents flew away, i thought about how lost the baby bird might feel and i took it into my house and played with it. Then one evening i realized that they were looking for their baby. I left the baby outside, but its mom and dad won't take it in anymore. In the end, we had to force it to fly away on its own. my actions made it more lost and alone than ever. i felt sad. but the baby bird taught me a lesson i'll never forget. i learned that when we're faced with problems, just because something seems right, does not make it any less of a bad choice.

2010-01-22T21:00:00.001-08:00

19. Lonely people are always up in the middle of the night

20. You know what’s the most terrifying thing about admitting that you’re in love? You’re just naked. You put yourself in harm’s way and you lay down all your defenses. No clothes, no weapons. Nowhere to hide, completely vulnerable. The only thing that makes it tolerable is to believe the other person loves you back and you can trust them not to hurt you.

i love you

2010-01-21T21:45:00.001-08:00

“Happy birthday, darlin'.Two tips on your birthday:
1) Forget the past, you can’t change it.
2)Forget the present. I didn’t get you one.”

2010-01-21T19:46:00.000-08:00

Landon: Jamie, I love you. Now would be the time to say something.

Jamie: I told you not to fall in love with me.

2010-01-12T18:49:00.001-08:00

2010-01-12T18:18:00.001-08:00

2010-01-05T21:25:00.000-08:00

Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.
These, our bodies, possessed by light.
Tell me we’ll never get used to it.
- Richard Siken

2010-01-01T06:36:00.001-08:00

2009-12-29T22:07:00.001-08:00

2009-12-21T23:22:00.000-08:00

2009-12-21T22:41:00.001-08:00

"Every girl has that one
boy in her life, who could
call her at three in the
morning and say, “Let’s
hang out. I’m coming to
get you.” and she would
put aside everything she
was doing, her excitement,
her anger or her momentary
hate for him. And she would
proceed to give him only
four words, “give me ten
minutes.”

2009-12-19T20:23:00.000-08:00

2009-12-16T07:56:00.000-08:00

2009-12-16T06:41:00.001-08:00